Pride, Ego, Effort and Time

August 6, 2015 just a few days from Sophia Ailee's birthday (which is August 19, 2015), I emailed him (Sophia's father) to grant her daughter's birthday wish and how Sophia's told it to us.

Night. August 5, 2015, just got home from the office, My mom told me something. Sophie wants to go on a wishing fountain and she will bring a coin. She will throw it in the water and make a wish for her birthday. My mom asked Sophia what's her wish, Sophia answered, I wish daddy will go home.

Whoa! it shatters my heart. I cried. She is looking for her daddy. I am not keeping Sophia for myself. Believe it or not, I want Sophia to be with him to be with his family side but unfortunately, there is no effort coming from everyone else to see the kid.

Back to the email.

A few days later. August 13, 2015. I received an email coming from him after the last email he sent me (when he told me that he is leaving all the responsibility to me) for about 1.7 years ago.

And so I proceed to read the contents.

He apologize that he just checked his email late. He told me that I know the reason why he can't come at our house (guilt or shame) and that I can go there with Sophia on their place but he can't come right on the said date. He said that we can meet up a day before or after the birthday but it much better if we would go there in their place.

So I replied to his email. I said that I will inform him as soon as I got an available schedule (you know..working mom. Haha)

How's that for an effort? Haha. But.. but.. I have to set aside this pride or ego thingy within me because it is ALL for my daughter. If that is my daughter wanted, I will give it to her. I don't want to come to a time that my daughter is furious to me that I didn't do anything to see her father. That will devastate me.

My initial reaction was 'Okay got an email from him. So what now' From there I realized, he is no more an item to me. Unlike before that I was filled with anxiety that hopefully he would answer my email begging him to come back. All that was gone. I am so happy and proud for myself from that very moment. It is true that time can heal all wounds.

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