The Working Title

March 8 2017 Tinanong ko sya, Anong plano mo? (para sa aming dalawa) Ang sagot nya, Hindi ko alam. Iniisip ko baka ganun ang sagot nya ay dahil abala sya sa ibang bagay o hindi lang sya interesado pag-usapan ito. Suddenly I felt alone. The first time I ask a guy what's his plans I got the same response. I felt like the world left me behind in a cold, dark land. Again. Parang di ko na naman alam ang gagawin ko. Pakiramdam ko mag-isa na naman ako sa lahat ng bagay, sa buhay. Masama ang loob ko. Pakiramdam ko para na rin ako iniwan sa ere. Right now, I will just enjoy the time, the moments with her. Plan on my own but still I want her to be there because I love her.

Have you ever love a person that for a short period of time, you felt like she is THE ONE? That anything and everything feels so perfect…  That every moment you spent with each other was pure bliss… But all of those precious moments went to oblivion… Everything we had was borrowed. We both know that right from the start, there is someone you truly love. One day, you left. Still everything between us was good. And all of a sudden, the communication we had was lost and you were nowhere to be found. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I know this is for the better and I have no any right to complain. Months passed and I still feel broken. And then here you are again, knocking on my broken heart telling me you’re sorry and to forget about us that you should have said before you cut the lines. All have been said done and here I am picking up the pieces of what’s left of my being.  Taking each day, one at a time to heal and feel free again.

WARNING: EMOTIONAL BLOG POST AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Okay.. Now that your reading this might as well finish it. Hahaha *hug* From November 19 up to this day, was all gloomy. Everyday I am gathering all the emotional strength I got to get through the day. We have video calls and messages thru social media apps, but not seeing her, being with her in flesh was depressing.  K went abroad to work to fulfill her goals for her family and as she said, for us. I know it's for the better and I understand it but of course I can't help it to miss her.  I am not into LDR (long distance relationship). I want a close proximity with my partner because I'm a touchy-feely person. But the moment I met and love her, I know I have to endure this kind of relationship even before she worked abroad. I can attest now to those posts and articles I read that LDR will test your trust and love for your partner. It will test all your wits end. And I thank the univer...

When I got into a relationship, I want it for long term otherwise, none at all. I want it to last. I don't want relationship just for the sake of having one. A partner who stays even if the world gives a lot of reason to leave. And I think I found her. We first met online through an application Moovz. It is like a Facebook for the LGBT community and for straights as well, where you can meet and greet, post anything (nudity is not allowed), make friends. Just like Facebook basically. If I'm not mistaken she is the one who chat me first then I replied. I added her to our Viber group chat 'mooverz' so she can meet fellow Filipino moovz user. Yes we exchange conversations but that's just it because I am eyeing on someone already. But that someone, let's call her A, is not ready. I did my best to court her, send messages, make calls but I guess she is not that ready. So I wandered again, and this girl, let's name her K, popped again asking how my day...

By this time, My mom and I were done preparing for New Year's Eve potluck. A bit sleepy because I got to woke up early for it. While my daughter is busy playing her Doc McStuffins' doctor set wit her playmates, I am too, is busy typing and thinking this post. Hahaha. I must say there is a lot of lessons I learned this year. Maybe you can get something from it too. Believe it or not. Haha. 1. You cannot make someone stay if they don't want to. If a person loves you they will stay. If not, they will say hundreds of reasons. At first, talk to them about it. It is like negotiating with them. If both of you wants to continue, go ahead. But If one insists the reasons to leave everything behind, let them go. A relationship should not be one sided love. Make yourself busy and moved on. The right one will come in the right time. 2. Time heals all wounds. It may sound cliché but it's true. It doesn't matter how long it takes to heal. The most important thing is you are healed...

Borrowed this trending hashtag from Twitter. Thanks Twitter! People who made my 2015 was quite a lot. People who said that they will stay but stray and the ones who actually stay. They made my year a blast! Blast of tears of sorrow and of course, tears of joy. Without further a due... here we go! To my daughter's father - I would like to thank you for all the fond memories we had back in the days that we are good and everything was doing well. Though sometimes there are low ones, I still thank you for that. I guess it is not yet the time for us. Time will come that both of us will realize a lot about the situation. I wish you well in your endeavors and for whatever you are going through right now, I know you will battle it out. I know you can. Keep safe. Always. To my parents - You are effin the BEST! I can't thank you enough for helping me raise my daughter. I know it's tough for me but both of you lend a helping hand without thinking twice. I know she...

August 6, 2015 just a few days from Sophia Ailee's birthday (which is August 19, 2015), I emailed him (Sophia's father) to grant her daughter's birthday wish and how Sophia's told it to us. Night. August 5, 2015, just got home from the office, My mom told me something. Sophie wants to go on a wishing fountain and she will bring a coin. She will throw it in the water and make a wish for her birthday. My mom asked Sophia what's her wish, Sophia answered, I wish daddy will go home. Whoa! it shatters my heart.  I cried. She is looking for her daddy. I am not keeping Sophia for myself. Believe it or not, I want Sophia to be with him to be with his family side but unfortunately, there is no effort coming from everyone else to see the kid. Back to the email.  A few days later. August 13, 2015. I received an email coming from him after the last email he sent me (when he told me that he is leaving all the responsibility to me) for about 1.7 years ago. ...

People come and go.We just have to accept that. We cannot hold a person entirely for ourselves even if cause a lot of pain for us because that is not love. Love is not owning. Love is letting go of that person to make the other grow on his or her own. When it comes to break up, whether its good or bad, you should give each other  time and space to ponder to think of what has transpired between the both of you. So the next relationship both of you are going to have, you will know what to do and not what to do. You shouldn't force yourself to be friends with your former partner because it will just makes things worst (Believe me! Haha). Give each other a reasonable time to mend, to heal. If you start as friends, I am pretty sure you will be friends again in time only can tell. I am not saying this to hold grudges or hate to your former partner, just give each other time to recover by all desirable, socially and legally accepted means. Desirable, Socially and Legally Accepted...

A friend of friend of mine since college sent me a message after she saw that I am posting about a girl crush in Facebook. So we had a chit chat about it and from there we rekindled the friendship we had in our way back  in our college days. We call a lot, we text a lot until we slept with phones on our hands and ears. I did tell her the girl in my office. We even joke about getting the girl jealous to see if the girl got something to me. So she's like courting me. We watched movie. Dine out. Drink. Exchange of gifts and the rest was history. One fateful day, June 19, she told me that she love me and I answer her back with I love you too. So it became us. At first, I answer her for the sake of answering her so as to not to make her feel mortify. At first, I don't feel her. I don't liker her because she was not my type. But after all the moments we had and time changed, I fell for her. Knocked out as she said to me. So I treated her the special way possible. Fetch h...

This past few months have been different for me. A different me. It's hard. Confusing. Gone gaga. Phew! Those crazy moments. And now, I've come to this point and validate myself that I can love a same love. Started having this feeling when an office mate and I always go out after office to run. As my usual, I treat a friend special especially if he/she is the apple of my eye. I surprised her with gifts, send her text messages, treat her a meal. I'm really fond of her. It made me confused. So I did some research about identity. What type or what kind. I asked a friend of mine (she is my office mate too) who is a Psychology graduate from a renowned college in Manila, about bisexuality. She is curious not surprised actually. She has a hint that there was a reason behind all of this. At first I hesitate to tell her but then I decided to spill the beans so she can understand me well. After all the no holds barred, she was in a 'that's-why-you-act-like-that' ...

January 16, 2015. His birthday. His mother's death anniversary. Second day of Pope Francis' Papal Visit here in the Philippines (special non-working holiday) I grabbed this opportunity to finally have the guts to go to visit him in Cainta. I know he is at home, based on his blogs posted with pictures. My goal for my visit is to talk to him and bring Sophie so he and his folks can see her because it's been a year they haven't seen the kid. Jitters, cold hands and feet, butterfly in my stomach - it feels like I'm having a job interview. Tita (Aunt) Winnie and Abby (my cousin) dropped us off at Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall. I thanked them and waved good bye. Sophie and I went to a bakeshop inside the mall, bought cake and went on our way to his home. We ride a jeepney then after 10-15 minutes jeepney ride, we reached the gate of their village then we ride a tricycle (not a kid's tricycle) on the way to their home. As we are on the road, I saw a famil...

Guitar chords? Stirred ABCs? Nope. These are the letters that made my life around. The letters that I will love for the rest of my wicked life. Its been a year since he decided to leave and the responsibility that comes with it. But it still feels the same way I felt since I met him. Maybe he is not just ready for the responsibility that will rest or resting upon his shoulders. Believe it or not, I still love him. As the old saying goes, Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is what I felt during his absence. I appreciate him more - the things and memories of him. I can't see myself having another guy in my life I hope and I pray that someday, he will come back and talk to me to rekindle the memories we had.

Running is one of the best cardiovascular exercise ever existed in this world, and the cheapest too (except for the shoes and other gears). It gives, not only good well being but, camaraderie among friends, family and runners alike. I got hook with running and the rest is history. Today, March 30 2014, marks the calendar for my very first running event I have attended - Francis Magalona 'Isang Umaga Isang Takbo Isang Alaala' Run 2014. It is a run for a cause event. The part of the proceeds of the event will be given to Francis Magalona Foundation to support its projects. The event was organized by the very hands on Mr. Bearwin Meily of RUNtarantantan. Two thumbs up for the over all set up and management of the event. Everyone had fun. I had fun. Everybody happy! Yahooooo! :) 3K is 3K. Thanks to my sister from another mother, my friend, Ate (as what we call to our big sister here in the Philippines) Rosalyn or just simply Ate Rose, for being my running buddy to this...

Mother in law - they are the mother of our spouse. The one who sees everything even the tiniest microscopic dust. The one who checks the sink for unwashed dishes. The one who pays a visit just to have the house and children inspected. Does it ring any bell? All of the above description is the opposite of my soon to be mother in law, Mama Cristy. She is everything to my soon to be husband and to my soon to be second family. Unfortunately, she is not living with us anymore. May she rest in peace. Anyways, one television show in ABS CBN 2 here in the Philippines, Please Be Careful With My Heart starring Jodie Sta. Maria as Maya and Richard Yap as Sir Chief, made me miss my soon to be mother in law. At one particular episode, Maya and her soon to be mother in law having a happy and fun conversation over the phone. Telling how they miss each other, how are they doing and things like that. At that time, it feels like that I am watching myself and Mama Cristy having that kind of chat...

Remember the webinar I promise to share with you? Well, here it is. Sorry for keeping you waiting. My apologies. Well, here we go! :) We had this online seminar or webinar last October 5, 2013, as our team called it. Our guest speaker is Coach JR who is also making a living in the networking or MLM arena. He made us close our eyes. He told us to have a clear picture in our minds of what we really want in our life. House, car, another business, a dream wedding, etc. As his explanation goes, envisioning your fruit, always before bedtime or waking up, or making a vision of what you really want keeps you positive and motivated to get it. And that's number 1, envision your fruit. Number 2 Accept it. Own it. If you picture something, let's say a mobile phone or a laptop computer, you picture as if it is.yours. This mobile phone is mine. This car is mine. Then you do something that will make it a reality (legally speaking). Me for example, I picture myself to pay the debt...

A friend and classmate of mine in the person of Jenny Barriga, introduced me a home based online business opportunity that according to her, will help me have a financial and time freedom just using Internet, my Facebook and other social networking sites - Supreme Wealth Alliance (SWA). Before I join, I struggled. I don't have the money to invest in the business opportunity. I almost sold my mobile phone to join in SWA but my brother came to a rescue. He lend me Php 2,500 (equivalent to US$55) and I am so thankful he did. After that, I told Jenny that I already have the money so she instructed to deposit it to bank account of one of the coaches, affiliated to SWA, which is the Tambay Academy. After I deposited the money, I took a picture of the receipt and send it to her as a Facebook message as per her instruction. Then I started doing the business, right at the very same day. I started posting photos, videos, tag friends and so on and so forth without reading the first th...

I hope you are having a wonderful day reading this blog post of mine. Today, I woke up happy and light because of the hangover I had from our very empowering webinar (seminar on web) last night (will post about it soon). Still sleepy, my daughter beam her smile at me and it adds up to my happy feel. Then we go down to the living room, and saw Angelina Jolie as Evelyn Salt,  not sitting in the living room but in tv. Wow! what a happy day! I really admire Angelina Jolie as an actress, as a mom and as a wife to her husband. It feels like she is an old friend who pays a visit to me :) I finished the movie for the Nth time. As my day goes, a friend of mine message me in Facebook. She told me a biggest good news of all, she is expecting a baby. I am thrilled! It make too excited that I vomit words about pregnancy, being a mother, and so on and so forth because as you all know I am already a mom. So happy for my friend :) Maybe you are asking, so what? I just want to say that if...

Essays. ph is an online writing community that cultivates natural talents of Filipinos who wants to write while earning additional income or just simply write and earning is just a bonus. White steno notebook background and an eraser less pencil on a sheet of paper will welcome visitors and writers alike. You will realize that this is no doubt a writing community. By clicking the buttons on the left panel, it will take you to pages of the site. Home button will lead to (of course) the home page; News button to events and happenings; Company button to the details of the company; Requirements button to the in need characteristics from an applicant; Apply online button to the fill in the boxes for the applicant; FAQ button to the answered questions of visitors or applicant; Contact Us button to submit message or question regarding work or the company; and lastly the Cyber Office button where only the members can access it. Over all, the buttons are easy to navigate and loads faster. ...

Typed a word. Think think think. Backspace. Typed a phrase. Think Think think. Backspace. Typed a sentence. Think think think. Backspace. Typed a paragraph.Think think think. Ctrl + A Delete. There are times that we end up keeping thoughts to ourselves than telling it to the whole world or to someone. You can't find the exact words that will match to your feelings. So better effin shut up. :p

An advertisement of dish seasoning here in the Philippines that shows a wife (who is newly wed) having insecurities in her cooking skills because her mother-in -law (her husband's mother) cooks well. This ad knock me out, hard! big time! Though Charles and I were not yet living on the same roof, I'm having this jittery feeling whenever I thought about it. I'm afraid that I cannot equate his mother's skills especially in cooking. I can cook though but I don't have the guts or confidence as many call it. (How's that for insecurity?) Just a brief background about women getting married here in the Philippines, it is a culture and tradition that a girl should know how to do house chores like cleaning the house, washing clothes, doing the dishes, sew, fix, and most specially cooking and preparing meals for the family. As early as a young age, girls are trained and taught about house chores so when the time come that they are having their own family, they're...