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Lessons learned from the year 2015

By this time, My mom and I were done preparing for New Year's Eve potluck. A bit sleepy because I got to woke up early for it. While my daughter is busy playing her Doc McStuffins' doctor set wit her playmates, I am too, is busy typing and thinking this post. Hahaha. I must say there is a lot of lessons I learned this year. Maybe you can get something from it too. Believe it or not. Haha. 1. You cannot make someone stay if they don't want to. If a person loves you they will stay. If not, they will say hundreds of reasons. At first, talk to them about it. It is like negotiating with them. If both of you wants to continue, go ahead. But If one insists the reasons to leave everything behind, let them go. A relationship should not be one sided love. Make yourself busy and moved on. The right one will come in the right time. 2. Time heals all wounds. It may sound cliché but it's true. It doesn't matter how long it takes to heal. The most important thing is you are healed

#PeopleWhoMadeMy2015

Borrowed this trending hashtag from Twitter. Thanks Twitter! People who made my 2015 was quite a lot. People who said that they will stay but stray and the ones who actually stay. They made my year a blast! Blast of tears of sorrow and of course, tears of joy. Without further a due... here we go! To my daughter's father - I would like to thank you for all the fond memories we had back in the days that we are good and everything was doing well. Though sometimes there are low ones, I still thank you for that. I guess it is not yet the time for us. Time will come that both of us will realize a lot about the situation. I wish you well in your endeavors and for whatever you are going through right now, I know you will battle it out. I know you can. Keep safe. Always. To my parents - You are effin the BEST! I can't thank you enough for helping me raise my daughter. I know it's tough for me but both of you lend a helping hand without thinking twice. I know she

Pride, Ego, Effort and Time

August 6, 2015 just a few days from Sophia Ailee's birthday (which is August 19, 2015), I emailed him (Sophia's father) to grant her daughter's birthday wish and how Sophia's told it to us. Night. August 5, 2015, just got home from the office, My mom told me something. Sophie wants to go on a wishing fountain and she will bring a coin. She will throw it in the water and make a wish for her birthday. My mom asked Sophia what's her wish, Sophia answered, I wish daddy will go home. Whoa! it shatters my heart.  I cried. She is looking for her daddy. I am not keeping Sophia for myself. Believe it or not, I want Sophia to be with him to be with his family side but unfortunately, there is no effort coming from everyone else to see the kid. Back to the email.  A few days later. August 13, 2015. I received an email coming from him after the last email he sent me (when he told me that he is leaving all the responsibility to me) for about 1.7 years ago.

Moving on

People come and go.We just have to accept that. We cannot hold a person entirely for ourselves even if cause a lot of pain for us because that is not love. Love is not owning. Love is letting go of that person to make the other grow on his or her own. When it comes to break up, whether its good or bad, you should give each other  time and space to ponder to think of what has transpired between the both of you. So the next relationship both of you are going to have, you will know what to do and not what to do. You shouldn't force yourself to be friends with your former partner because it will just makes things worst (Believe me! Haha). Give each other a reasonable time to mend, to heal. If you start as friends, I am pretty sure you will be friends again in time only can tell. I am not saying this to hold grudges or hate to your former partner, just give each other time to recover by all desirable, socially and legally accepted means. Desirable, Socially and Legally Accepted

My First Ever Heartbreak

A friend of friend of mine since college sent me a message after she saw that I am posting about a girl crush in Facebook. So we had a chit chat about it and from there we rekindled the friendship we had in our way back  in our college days. We call a lot, we text a lot until we slept with phones on our hands and ears. I did tell her the girl in my office. We even joke about getting the girl jealous to see if the girl got something to me. So she's like courting me. We watched movie. Dine out. Drink. Exchange of gifts and the rest was history. One fateful day, June 19, she told me that she love me and I answer her back with I love you too. So it became us. At first, I answer her for the sake of answering her so as to not to make her feel mortify. At first, I don't feel her. I don't liker her because she was not my type. But after all the moments we had and time changed, I fell for her. Knocked out as she said to me. So I treated her the special way possible. Fetch h

Converted late bloomer

This past few months have been different for me. A different me. It's hard. Confusing. Gone gaga. Phew! Those crazy moments. And now, I've come to this point and validate myself that I can love a same love. Started having this feeling when an office mate and I always go out after office to run. As my usual, I treat a friend special especially if he/she is the apple of my eye. I surprised her with gifts, send her text messages, treat her a meal. I'm really fond of her. It made me confused. So I did some research about identity. What type or what kind. I asked a friend of mine (she is my office mate too) who is a Psychology graduate from a renowned college in Manila, about bisexuality. She is curious not surprised actually. She has a hint that there was a reason behind all of this. At first I hesitate to tell her but then I decided to spill the beans so she can understand me well. After all the no holds barred, she was in a 'that's-why-you-act-like-that'

January 16, 2015

January 16, 2015. His birthday. His mother's death anniversary. Second day of Pope Francis' Papal Visit here in the Philippines (special non-working holiday) I grabbed this opportunity to finally have the guts to go to visit him in Cainta. I know he is at home, based on his blogs posted with pictures. My goal for my visit is to talk to him and bring Sophie so he and his folks can see her because it's been a year they haven't seen the kid. Jitters, cold hands and feet, butterfly in my stomach - it feels like I'm having a job interview. Tita (Aunt) Winnie and Abby (my cousin) dropped us off at Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall. I thanked them and waved good bye. Sophie and I went to a bakeshop inside the mall, bought cake and went on our way to his home. We ride a jeepney then after 10-15 minutes jeepney ride, we reached the gate of their village then we ride a tricycle (not a kid's tricycle) on the way to their home. As we are on the road, I saw a famil

C.D.A.G.

Guitar chords? Stirred ABCs? Nope. These are the letters that made my life around. The letters that I will love for the rest of my wicked life. Its been a year since he decided to leave and the responsibility that comes with it. But it still feels the same way I felt since I met him. Maybe he is not just ready for the responsibility that will rest or resting upon his shoulders. Believe it or not, I still love him. As the old saying goes, Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is what I felt during his absence. I appreciate him more - the things and memories of him. I can't see myself having another guy in my life I hope and I pray that someday, he will come back and talk to me to rekindle the memories we had.